There are no definite plans to see each other again. That is to say we want to see each other again, I just don't know when I can get out there. I don't like long distance relationships. To be honest I don't really see the point. It's okay if there is a definite direction to the deal - like, say marriage. But to keep dating just to see if you want to take it further is almost pointless if you rarely see each other. I feel... not good about it.
See, I've put off the question on everyone's mind (mostly my mother's) about whether or not we are going to get married. I just never really tried to figure out what I felt like because I didn't have to. Then all of a sudden the day HIM found out about school I cracked down on myself. I really forced myself to think about it and decide. And I decided that I think I might be into it. The problem? Even though HIM's joked about it for months and months and months...he's still not sure. After all the "our kids this....we'll be married by then....blah blah" he was half kidding. I always used to squirm in fright when he'd joke but now I just squirm in uncomfortableness that this seems to be a little lop-sided.
HIM just doesn't understand what its going to be like apart. We've always been face to face and its taken sooo long to get to this point and he is in for a BIG surprise. HIM just has no idea. Nothing I say really gets through to HIM. HIM is still happily listening to his inner voice that keeps saying.."it will all work out. It will be just fine".
But I just don't run on "it will all work out".
