I was tired and cranky and annoyed at the whole day today, minus my half-hour in the sunshine, and I let it get to me. I let paranoia creep in slowly at first and then the pace quickened. Suddenly I was aggravated at my situation. Then I felt entitled followed by feelings of disdain and then a little pathetic desperation. I guess those are the normal emotions one feels when trapped in solitary confinement. But every once in a while the slot in the door opens for some old food and I catch a glimpse of the sunlight and I desperately want out.
I'm not normally a patient person when I really want something. I am being sooo patient. If patience is a virtue then I should be nominated for saint-hood right about now. Go ahead, pay your alms, light some candles and start reciting at my feet. Maybe one day some lucky Gentile will see my face in a stain on a wall and become a believer. I will wear the sad, sorrowful face of a patient woman.
Patience is not a virtue in this situation. It is a poison. And just like they say in mean girls, "when you get bit by a snake you have to suck the poison out, and that's exactly what i had to do". Well that's exactly what I have to do.
Commence de-poisoning in 5-4-3-2-1
2 comments:
This post makes me a bit nervous. What happens when the countdown ends? Does something blow up? Are you going to go America all over his a--? Maybe it's a good idea to take a step back and remember that rashness rarely leads to positive outcomes.
"And something's got to change/'Cause our love's the slowest moving train"
-Rilo Kiley
I'm glad I'm not the only one who has ever experienced the paranoia
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