Our friend Mike came into town tonight for graduation. I was really excited to see him again and get all the juicy details of his whirlwind romance/engagement to his friend Whit of 5 years. Basically she went to Seattle to visit him and they kissed. She came again another weekend and they said I love you and a couple days later over videochat they decided to get married. I think whirlwind isn't a fast enough description of what happened. And then he proposed on their first date soon after. Crazy. Crazy in a good way for them because I think they are truly meant to be but crazy none the less.
We all went to Beto's for some stomach aches and while there had some jolly good conversations with details from Mike, Stephen and Jeff on their love lives respectively. Then some teasing and serious questions from Jeff and friends began about HIM and I. Are we progressing? Have we said I love you? Etc, etc. We just laughed them off except when HIM said I love you sideways out of his mouth and we all laughed. Only I know HIM really means it. I think he's been trying to say it for a while but just can't quite get it. He'll throw out "..and that's why I love you" or other things but I just laugh.
Things have been more smooth in this relationship than any past one and I don't feel half as bad as I did in times past. In fact, I don't ever really feel bad. But I have rolled my eyes more than I ever have - I'm worried they are going to slowly dis-attach themselves from my sockets. Gross. And I know HIM is trying really hard to get up the courage to say it and I'm OK with it. HIM told me today marriage scares HIM and I told HIM I felt the same way. Its good to be on the same page. But I also told HIM how I couldn't sleep this morning because I had anxiety over my working situation this summer. I'll be gone for a month. An entire month. The last month we could have together. I hate that. Especially if HIM goes to school in Arizona he will be gone before I'm done working. It's just not an ideal situation. I need to get a job here. Gone a whole month...I don't know if I can do that.
As we were parting this evening after everyone went inside I told him "this is silly, we should be able to part easily we've been together for hours and hours" as we lingered by my car. HIM closed his eyes and said "Ok, I just have to say it".
"Say what?" I responded.
He looked at me, "Oh, nevermind".
"Really?" I said.
"Ok" he stared at me. "No.."
"OK" I shrugged.
"Wait...there is just no easy way to say this" he froze. "Oh, never mind" he said turning away.
"OK" I shrugged"
"Wait....no"
"You aren't ready to say it are you?" I questioned.
"Nope" he chuckled turning away again.
"OK" I said getting into my car.
No comments:
Post a Comment